My wife suffers from Polycystic Kidney Disease. Her
condition is hereditary, and over the course of her life, slowly reduced her
kidneys to enlarged, nonfunctioning, cyst-riddled organs. They cause her pain, inconvenience,
and as of late interfere with her dialysis treatments. So, next week she goes
into the hospital to have both surgically removed. The procedure takes a few
hours and the recovery time will be at least a week, if not two. It is a
serious procedure, but it will improve her quality of life by removing the
added weight and pressure of her enlarged kidneys. Additionally, it is the
first step on a long road to get her a transplant.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
I mention the above not simply to give a life update for those few who read my entries, but also to lead into the main topic of my entry. It came to me, oddly enough, while sitting in one of the various waiting rooms during our Pre-Consultation visit today. Not an entire post mind you, or even the idea of one, but just a thought, a question given voice and context by both our situation and the matters of PROPOSITION 8 and the DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT currently before our Supreme Court. As we visited with the medical staff, went over pre-op procedures and our options, and met with the Dialysis Department to discuss their treatment of my wife’s “button holes” (a needle technique eventually leading to less stress and pain on her fistula – look it up on Google) this not-so-little thought/question rolled around in my mind: What if we were a same-sex couple?
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
I mention the above not simply to give a life update for those few who read my entries, but also to lead into the main topic of my entry. It came to me, oddly enough, while sitting in one of the various waiting rooms during our Pre-Consultation visit today. Not an entire post mind you, or even the idea of one, but just a thought, a question given voice and context by both our situation and the matters of PROPOSITION 8 and the DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT currently before our Supreme Court. As we visited with the medical staff, went over pre-op procedures and our options, and met with the Dialysis Department to discuss their treatment of my wife’s “button holes” (a needle technique eventually leading to less stress and pain on her fistula – look it up on Google) this not-so-little thought/question rolled around in my mind: What if we were a same-sex couple?
Standing there, hand in hand with this woman I love, a woman
dealt both a tragic and unfair hand by genetics, I thought what if we were the
same gender. What if the Powers That Be condemned me to the waiting area and
her to walk onward through this ordeal all alone based on nothing but archaic
religious views, intolerance, ignorance, or any of the other REAL reasons
people still find fault with those who fall in love with members of their
own gender. Would I even be allowed to accompany her back to visit with her
doctors or come visit her in the hospital after recovery? Could my name be on
her various medical paperwork as her next contact or “partner” or something, or
would they bar me from the proceedings completely as any other non-family
member? This horrified and sickened me, not simply due to the act itself, but the
knowing this type of thing occurs still and other people, other supposed evolved,
freedom-loving citizens of my country, turn a blind eye or support this Dark
Age, bigoted thinking each and every day.
Could you stand to be kept from your loved ones for any reason in their time of need? Would the differing opinion of a priest, preacher, or anyone else of “faith” be enough to settle the ache in your heart, the separation pangs felt by forced abandonment of your soulmate? For any reason under the sun or stars would you allow ANYONE to pull you from their side as tears and the unknown took them onward? Then, how in the name of any divinity can such hateful, shameful, ungodly behavior be condoned by any peoples?
Can you stand straight and strong before me and argue the defense of marriage when “traditional unions” and our flippant attitudes toward love and honor and vow have reduced it to a laughable, dismissive tax status? Does the advent of Quickie Marriage Chapels in Las Vegas and unions lasting less than a day before both hungover parties strike them from record not soil the holy sacrament? What about the steadily climbing divorce rate and broken homes with displaced children and people on their fourth, fifth, and sixth spouses? What of marriages of convenience and trophy wives and unions arranged throughout the ages for political leverage? This is all acceptable and permitted by both gods and law while the populace barely flutters an eyelid, though a gay couple in Texas wanting each other recognized as legal spouse will bring ruination and damnation to an ages old ideal.
Really?
This issue isn’t about whether or not allowing homosexual union acceptance and protections under our laws is constitutional. It is about fighting against the hate and ignorance of a small subsection of our populace and the flawed, corrupt politicians who refuse to push forward any true change or progress for fear of losing money and reelection. It is about accepting what is just and right or taking another step backward and alienating an entire grouping of us for just trying to be happy and love. It is about someone being able to hold their sick loved one’s hand as the doctor talks without fear of being turned away at the hospital hallway doors simply because they share their mate’s gender.
I know I would never allow anyone to keep me from my beloved Julie’s side, and so I cannot fathom being put in such a position and expected to accept it. To support such ideas like Prop8 and DOMA is to deny our fellow citizens their freedom and strike them with such hatred and sickness it sheds more light on the failures of our society, ourselves, and perhaps our faiths than anything. Love is love and wrong is wrong.
Could you stand to be kept from your loved ones for any reason in their time of need? Would the differing opinion of a priest, preacher, or anyone else of “faith” be enough to settle the ache in your heart, the separation pangs felt by forced abandonment of your soulmate? For any reason under the sun or stars would you allow ANYONE to pull you from their side as tears and the unknown took them onward? Then, how in the name of any divinity can such hateful, shameful, ungodly behavior be condoned by any peoples?
Can you stand straight and strong before me and argue the defense of marriage when “traditional unions” and our flippant attitudes toward love and honor and vow have reduced it to a laughable, dismissive tax status? Does the advent of Quickie Marriage Chapels in Las Vegas and unions lasting less than a day before both hungover parties strike them from record not soil the holy sacrament? What about the steadily climbing divorce rate and broken homes with displaced children and people on their fourth, fifth, and sixth spouses? What of marriages of convenience and trophy wives and unions arranged throughout the ages for political leverage? This is all acceptable and permitted by both gods and law while the populace barely flutters an eyelid, though a gay couple in Texas wanting each other recognized as legal spouse will bring ruination and damnation to an ages old ideal.
Really?
This issue isn’t about whether or not allowing homosexual union acceptance and protections under our laws is constitutional. It is about fighting against the hate and ignorance of a small subsection of our populace and the flawed, corrupt politicians who refuse to push forward any true change or progress for fear of losing money and reelection. It is about accepting what is just and right or taking another step backward and alienating an entire grouping of us for just trying to be happy and love. It is about someone being able to hold their sick loved one’s hand as the doctor talks without fear of being turned away at the hospital hallway doors simply because they share their mate’s gender.
I know I would never allow anyone to keep me from my beloved Julie’s side, and so I cannot fathom being put in such a position and expected to accept it. To support such ideas like Prop8 and DOMA is to deny our fellow citizens their freedom and strike them with such hatred and sickness it sheds more light on the failures of our society, ourselves, and perhaps our faiths than anything. Love is love and wrong is wrong.













